Day 253: If I Ruled Lichtenstein... I'm Not Paying For Five Inches

I hate going to and being at several places: the pharmacy, the post office, the doctor's office, and the airport. Even more than I hate being at the airport, however, is having to deal with all the airport-y formalities, like waiting in line after line, dealing with delays and cancellations, hauling around heavy luggage, baggage fees, layovers, taking off my shoes for security, and all the nickel-and-dimeing that goes on with every step of the process.

They now charge you if you want to choose your seats at the self check-in kiosks. And I'm not even talking about first class or the emergency exit rows. Every time I tried to change my seat to anywhere else on the plane, it wanted to charge me $12, $19, or $21. This is of course before all the luggage fees.

And then when I was sitting waiting to board the plane, I saw that I could pay to upgrade my seat to have "five extra inches of laptop space."Five inches? That's the length of a pencil, and this is what you're touting?

Baloney.

In Lichtenstein, the price you pay online for your airline ticket is the price you will pay to get to where you want to go. There will be no extra charges for luggage, and seating will be on a first-come, first-serve basis.

Also, our planes will be extra long with a single aisle and two seats on each side with enough room in front of you to sit comfortably. Plus this way, the middle seat will be eliminated.

Those who are flying internationally will get the "bed planes". Having to sit in a cramped seat for hours is unacceptable. Those who are going over oceans or entire continents will be "seated" in one of the rows and rows of chairs that recline into a beds. Each will have its own TV filled with movies to watch, so flying these distances will not only be tolerable, but comfortable.

Flying to Lichtenstein is the way flying should be.

Day 252: What Did Batman Say to Robin... About The Future

Holy Chinese "in bed" deliciousness!

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

The answer to this question has to be a resounding "no."First of all, there are no expiration dates on the fortunes. Secondly, I know a lot of people - myself included - who save the good ones for inspiration. I usually tape them to the front of my yearly planner, but I've seen people tape them to their headboards or cubes at work.

They're usually great inspiration for when I write or plan for the future, which is why I keep them near my calendar.

Besides, who wants to think that, "You will one day be great" has an expiration date?

Day 251: Remember the Time... Men Would Be Horrible Party Planners

When I plan parties, I cover all my bases. I clean, put together a music playlist, plan the menu, and usually spend the day cooking said menu. 

Before guests arrive, I light candles, make sure there are enough seats for everyone to sit comfortably arranged in a conversation semi-circle, and put the finishing touches on my carefully planned outfit.

I was telling some colleagues about the plans I have for an upcoming party I'm planning soon, and found out that one of my male colleagues was having a party that same night.

So I of course asked him if he'd already made food ahead of time. He gave me a strange look and said that each of his friends bring enough beer for themselves and enough cash to pay the pizza delivery person.

So then I asked him if he at least cleaned his place. His response?

"Dude, I just have to make sure I get home in time to flush the toilet before they get there."

Ugh. Men.

Day 249: A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words... On Perspective

No one but me is allowed to read my journal, but since this is something I doodled one day when I happened to have a black and green pen on me, I thought it'd be OK to photocopy it for this week's cliche.

Last week's cliche: No news is good news

Day 248: Stop. Focus. Click... On Frankenpup

Chloe Belle is getting her stitches out tomorrow from the small tumor we found on the back of her head, but it's been a rough week and a half. She could hardly keep her eyes open the day of the surgery.

She hates this cone I have to put on her whenever we're not home.

And her eight stitches scare me, but the vet said she got good margins, so Miss Chloe should be good to go. Whenever she can lose the cone, that is.

Day 247: Remember the Time... I Changed My Look on a Whim

I had to pin my small amount of side-swept bangs with a bobby pin today after my right eye became so irritated from the hair getting in there. 

I forgot about them until I was walking home from work and saw that the salon I live above was open late. So I changed my walking trajectory, walked into the salon, and asked if they could trim my bangs.

And since I had just watched New Girl the day before, I must have been thinking about how adorkable Zooey Deschanel looked with her thick brunette bangs when I told the hairdresser to give me straight-across bangs. Remember the time that I haven't had straight-across bangs since I was five years old? It's amazing how something so simple can straight-up change-up your look.


But you know what? Life is too short for long drawn-out thought processes for something as simple as shorter hair. I'm proud of myself. Plus it doesn't look half bad.

Day 246: If I Ruled Lichtenstein...

Whenever my parents would take me to an amusement park when I was younger, I'd always ask to go on the bumper cars.

I'd let my siblings choose their cars first, then of course I'd choose one directly facing one of them so I could deliver the first whack.


I'd always marvel at the fact that essentially we were getting into accidents on purpose, yet the bumper cars remained unscathed.


So I started asking questions about why cars aren't made out of rubber so they'd just bounce off each other instead of dent. I've been told that not only would they be ugly, but it wouldn't work at the much higher rate of speed that actual cars go.


Well if this were true, then why do bumper guards exist? You know, those rubber pads you attach to the front and/or back license plates or fenders of your car so it doesn't get scratched if someone bumps it while parallel parking? 


I still think it could work. So in Lichtenstein, the center circumference of all cars will be a wall of rubber so fender benders and minor bumps will be a thing of the past. We might have a few more whiplash cases, but at least those people won't have to pay the hospital and the mechanic.