A former colleague of mine and I used to talk quite a bit at lunchtime at one of my past jobs. It was an unnecessarily stressful and quite un-enjoyable job, so we used to take advantage of the full 13 minutes we were allotted to eat lunch to attempt to have a bit of fun before our slave-driving boss started making snide comments that since we were done eating and talking about nothing of particular importance, we'd be more useful if we went back to work.
Not many of our conversations made any sort of semblance of sense - much to the chagrin of another colleague who used to eat lunch with us. We'd talk about how a quarter was the same as a dime (it's not), how much of a blow fish you'd be able to eat before you'd die (not much), and who was stupider - someone who stared into a bright light for a full minute because it would make the night seem darker or the person who believed it was true and convinced the other to do it. (The first person is totally stupider. And yes, we used words such as "stupider" and "funner".) It made the long hours at this particular job much more bearable.
At my current job, dare I say my conversations with colleagues are even more ridiculous, yet these conversations allow me to do what they're paying me for.
My boss and I were sitting down completely seriously discussing my current project today, and every other sentence sent my two neighboring cube mates into fits of giggles, even though they both were familiar with my current project of creating fun games for children. And what game for children isn't fun without personified ketchup bottles and a mariachi mouse playing a song for a hamster in a diaper?
Another colleague who was not familiar with my games actually stopped in her tracks as she was cruising past my cube to give us a "WTF?" look and a "What. The. Hell. are you guys talking about?" sentence to match.
I can understand her confusion. It's like the lame game always played at bridal parties after the bride-to-be has finished opening her gifts (where the "best maid" reads off sentences the bride has said while opening gifts that she'll supposedly say on her wedding day about her groom, such as "what a surprise!" and "I never knew it was so big," etc.).
Or, better yet, it's like a game I made up with a friend called "Awkward Something" where you wait until that moment where someone is just within earshot and you say something completely awkward to your friend as if the two of you were actually immersed in a conversation surrounding retrieving panties from the top of a Christmas tree.
Therefore, never have I ever said absolutely ridiculous sentences that were 100 percent work-related. A sampling of sentences I jotted down after the two conversations I had with my boss today (yes, these are just from today):
"Oh! So this must be how hot dogs have sex."
"With the frog, I'm leaving out its arms and the legs but keeping the tongue cause it's so cute."
"It's totally a smart snake because it's wearing glasses. So do we want to decapitate the smart snake's head for the game? And if we do, where would he be going?"
"Hey Heather? If you were a cow, where would you be going? You wouldn't be going to milk because you give milk, right? Or are you a male cow and want to taste the milk... wait this seems to be going somewhere not kid-friendly."
"Why is the mariachi mouse going to a piece of cherry pie? Seriously - do mice like cherries?"
"Is the alien going to be flying from his planet to planet Earth or is he going to visit his friend on another planet?"
"We can't do a kiss because the monsters' faces don't have lips."
"How can those monsters be in love? They're not even the same species. One has one eye and has a horn - or is that a party hat? - and the other is a dinosaur with stars on it. Wait, is he also wearing a party hat? Are they going to a party? Should they have presents?"
"Don't look up 'hamburger guy', look up 'hamburger man' so we can find the hot dog man a friend."
"Should we photoshop out the mustard line so we can have the ketchup send the hot dog to the mustard for a yellow squirt? Oops - again probably not kid-friendly. Why is my mind in the gutter today?"
"Why is the mouse wearing scuba gear to get drunk?"
"Grandma is just going to have to be white because this website doesn't favor the ethnic elderly."
I love my job.
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