Although yes, it is a cliche, today's topic has to do with rules that are made to be broken. You know - the arbitrary "rules" governing kids not leaving the table until they've cleared their plates, a teenager's curfew, and sick days at work.
If rules are made to be broken, my partner in crime asks: What are the exceptions to the following rules?
Never talk to strangers... unless talking to them about whatever it is they're promoting lands you a cool T-shirt or free samples of food.
Don't run with scissors... unless they're the dull, rounded-edge plastic ones found in kindergarten classrooms that can't cut paper much less break through skin. The paper is actually more deadly.
Look both ways before crossing the street... unless you live in New York City in which case no one looks anywhere even though there are cab drivers barreling down the streets, weaving in and out of traffic at 97 miles an hour.
No running near the pool... unless you want to get wet and/or slip and fall right in front of that hot chick in a bikini you've been eyeing.
Do not enter. This is especially true if you're near the tiger or bear exhibit at the zoo. But the exception is if it leads somewhere cool like backstage at a concert or into another theater at the movies.
Don't go swimming right after you eat... unless you want to puke in the vicinity of that same bikini girl, fully ensuring that you have absolutely no chance with her, and making all other swimmers screech "ewwwww" while paddling away from you as fast as they would had they seen a turd on the bottom of the pool.
What goes up, must come down. Yes, whenever a pigeon flies up, poop rains down. There are no exceptions - especially when you're rushing to a job interview.
My partner in crime's response: While all of these are fine instances on when to break these rules, I may have a few more exceptions:
Never Talk To Strangers – unless you want to meet anyone ever. How in the world are we supposed to make friends?!?
Don’t Run With Scissors – unless someone has broken into your house. Then, by all means, run with scissors... towards the intruder... and even throw them at him if you so desire.
Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street – unless you’re cross-eyed and can see both directions anyway and/or have phenomenal peripheral vision. Also unless you're blind. If you're blind, though, you're not really looking anywhere.
No Running Near The Pool – unless you have diarrhea...and just ate a taco. Then please, please run.
Do Not Enter – unless you are escaping from above intruder because you have just thrown your only weapon at him and missed. They by all means, enter. Enter now.
What Goes Up, Must Come Down – one word: Clouds. Two more words. Charlie Sheen.
So what did Batman say to Robin about breaking all the rules? That rule-breaking apparently often includes feces in some way or another.
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