So there's this mystery woman at work who's constantly leaving random items on the counter in the vanity area in the one and only women's restroom at work. They range from the useless magnets from a real estate's office to the gross open tubes of, uh, "lady cream."
But regardless of the item, it always seems to disappear at some point during the day. Whether it's someone taking it or HR confiscating it or the cleaning crew throwing it away, we don't know.
So a few of us girls at work decided to have a contest to see who could find the most ridiculous and useless item to put in the bathroom and then see how long it would take for someone to snatch it up.
The items the other girls put in there include a luxury magazine for CEOs and a country music CD. However, I must say that it was my item that garnered the best story.
It started with a dream. A sex dream. Of me... and Bernie Madoff. Where in the hell this dream came from I have no idea.
And I made the mistake of telling my work spouse about this dream because I thought it was funny. Plus I was returning the favor because he had recently told me a weirdly inappropriate sex dream in which he was naked at the sales conference. He, in return, printed out an poster of my "dream man" on the color printer, drew man hearts* all over it, and hung it up on my cube wall. Obviously.
*Man hearts are hearts that men draw with that are always weirdly lopsided with the lines never actually meeting neatly at the bottom. Apparently they don't have as much practice as women doodling them all over their notebooks in grade and middle school.
After snatching it off my cube wall and shutting it in a drawer as fast as possible, I had the idea to make this poster my "item" for the bathroom experiment. So I put a "Free" sticky note on it, stealthy placed it in the bathroom and waited.
Within an hour, it was gone. I didn't think I'd see it hanging up on anyone's cube or anything, so I never thought I'd find out who took it.
I had dinner plans with another colleague after work that day, and we were having a great conversation when I casually mentioned that I have weird dreams, including one really weird one with Bernie Madoff.
He then gave me a strange look, reached into his bag, pulled out the poster, and said, "Wait - was it you who put this in the women's restroom?"
I, obviously, replied with, "Why do you have something someone left in the women's restroom?"
He then told me that another colleague of ours saw it, snatched it up, and then went over to his desk to brainstorm as to why it was there and who had left it. I asked him to elaborate, and he replied with, "Yeah, nothing we came up with was less exciting than the truth."
I don't see how anything involving a Bernie Madoff poster would not be funny but hey that's just me.
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