Holy weird, tiny, blue, shirtless characters Batman!
Oh The Smurfs. Though they were a little before my time (they premiered on TV the year before I was born and the series ended when I was just 7 years old; and I was too busy watching Sesame Street and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to watch them too often) I remember occasionally watching the Smurfs.
The Smurfs represent a fun, carefree society (minus there being only one girl that everyone has to do in order to make more Smurfs). What is the opposite of the Smurfs and what would their names/personalities be?
My response: The opposite of the Smurfs are, obviously, the Sfrums. The Sfrums are a Playboy-esque society of all females and one male, who is quite content being the only way to repopulate their society. This male, Renffeh Sfrum, struts around like he owns the place, and rightfully so. He knows he's needed - not exactly desired - but needed all the same.
The Sfrums are giant orange people who only wear shirts, as they don't believe in wearing pants in case Renffeh sets his sights on them. However, in general, they are a society of non-stop drama and cat fighting. There is constant whispering and backstabbing because too many females does not a pleasant utopia make. There is too much pink, an exorbitant amount of glitter, and clothes strewn everywhere, but Renffeh could care less because he's always in demand and he loves it. And what male wouldn't?
My Partner In Crime weighs in: We all know what Smurfs are; little blue people that walk around topless with white hates. Minus there being only one female and a giant, (normal-sized to us) retired, old man wearing a onesie, they live pretty freely. They’re cute, have cute names, and use “smurf” as just about every adjective and adverb. They have cute names like Smurfette, Papa Smurf, Brainy Smurf, Lazy Smurf… etc.
We live in a world with yin and yang. Nature works in balance. For every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. Balance. So, dear reader, what is the opposing community to the Smurfs? The answer is simply, the Fracks. The Fracks are a dirty brown, almost like theater carpet. They’re half bald and the female Fracks are missing teeth, ugly, and could use a shower, quite frankly.
The Fracks came to be as a result of a 2nd female being banished from Smurf village. Her name was Frackin Smurf. She loved to frackin smurf. She fracken smurfed every chance she got and with every smurf she could frackin smurf with. Papa Smurf gave her and her smurf buddies an ultimatum. Either stop smurfing all the time or leave. She chose to leave, but not before convincing some of her other smurf buddies to come along with her with promises of all day smurfing. The Smurfs that followed her to the new village now named after her were also given names in honor of her.
Wrong Word Frack – always sings the wrong words to lyrics. “Salmon Rockstar” and “Don’t Pour Sugar On Me” and “Thunder Crashes” are some examples.
Obese Frack – eats a lot and is too lazy to walk anywhere so he uses a Segway.
Singy Frack – cannot sing and no matter what he says, his sexy operatic falsetto is not at all sexy.
Manipulative Frack – name suggests personality.
Con Frack – can’t be trusted and always winds up getting about $10 whenever he wants it.
Told You So Frack – always needs to correct you, your grammar, your facts, and always needs to say “I told you so.”
So what is the opposite of the Smurfs? Ousted Smurfs-turned Fracks/Sfrums who are far too obsessed with reproduction.
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