Day 91: What Did Batman Say To Robin... About The Dominant Species

Holy squishy animals Batman!

I love all things squishy stress ball-related. So I have a lot of them at my desk at work, and by a lot I mean about 15. They range from fruit to animals to sports balls. Some are meant for their actual purpose of relieving stress, but most are there because I think they're fun and adorable.

And I like to see the way other people interact with them, which is why I display my animal stress balls on the ledge of my cube walls - a rhino, bear, bull, and pig. Whenever anyone comes over to talk to me, they inevitably either pick one up and absentmindedly play with it or rearrange the animals into a parade or couples with their noses touching.

(I'd much prefer that they play with the animals instead of a few of them moving every. single. thing. in my cube over one inch to the right every day for the last three days, confusing the hell out of me until I was like "Wait a minute... why is my computer so far over?" to which my cube neighbors replied, "Oh thank God you noticed. Moving everything every day for the past three days was getting tedious." I have to give them props, though. Well done Heather and Erin.)

This, however, took my squishy toys to a new level. This is how I found them when I came back from my meeting, and lasted as long as I didn't move at all at my desk, which was about 1.3 seconds.

So my question is, obviously, "What the heck is going on here?"

This whole thing started with the black bear. He was talking shit to the bull about how the lions may be king of the jungle, but bears are king of the world because they can rip a human in half and don't need any tools to fish. To prove his point, he climbed atop a globe.


The bull wasn't impressed. So the bear started going on about how humans may think pigs are the smartest animals, but it's truly the bears because they coax fish to come to them for meals. Plus, the smartest humans who can survive in the wilderness are named after their species (Bear Grylls, for example). To prove this point, he balanced an over-sized brain on his back.


But the bull still wasn't impressed. So the bear went even further and started boasting about how bears are the strongest species because they can knock down tall trees by simply repeatedly pushing on them. And to further emphasize this fact, he hauled a small car and balanced it atop the huge brain.


And as he's smugly bragging about how bears are the smartest, strongest, species in the world, the bull simply trots over and this photo is snapped just as the bull is about the nudge the bear so he loses his balance and the car topples onto him. 


"Smarter my ass," the bull says as the bear looks up at him dazed from beneath the car. "If only I were stronger. Than I could help get that car off of you."

Oh, and nearby there was also a female rhino balancing on a golf ball to prove that rhinos are more athletic than pigs, but the male pig didn't give a crap about who was more athletic because he was smart enough to know that a first kiss is so much better when it's unexpected.